Many parents face challenges with intimacy amid the demands of daily life. According to psychotherapist Vanessa Marin, busy parents can enhance their sexual relationships by implementing a straightforward tactic: initiating intimacy, even when they feel exhausted.
A recent study highlighted that 37% of mothers report being dissatisfied with their sexual frequency. Factors contributing to this dissatisfaction often include a lack of time, energy, and emotional connection. Particularly, 74% of millennial mothers cite time and energy as the primary barriers to sexual satisfaction.
Understanding the Importance of Initiation
Initiating intimacy is a crucial aspect of maintaining a healthy sexual relationship, explains Marin. “Initiating sex is about showing your partner that they’re important and that intimacy is a priority for you,” she states. This act can foster closeness and connection, which are often overlooked in the hectic lives of parents.
Marin encourages partners to reconsider their expectations surrounding intimacy. Instead of waiting for the perfect moment, she suggests asking oneself, “Am I open to intimacy?” This shift in mindset can help couples navigate their physical connection without the pressure of feeling completely “turned on.”
She emphasizes that intimacy doesn’t always require elaborate setups or extended periods of time. Simple gestures—like a quick kiss or a playful touch—can serve as effective ways to initiate connection. “When you initiate, it helps break the cycle of waiting for the ‘perfect moment,’ which rarely happens for exhausted parents,” Marin adds.
Balancing Initiation Between Partners
Marin also addresses the dynamics of initiation within relationships. If one partner consistently leads in initiating intimacy, it can create an imbalance that may lead to feelings of burden or disconnect. “Both partners should actively initiate,” she insists. Open conversations about the importance of balanced initiation can strengthen the bond and ensure that both partners feel desired.
If one partner feels uncomfortable initiating, Marin suggests that they express their feelings candidly. A conversation could start with a statement like, “It would mean so much to me if you initiated sometimes, too. It makes me feel wanted and desired.”
In addition to improving initiation dynamics, Marin advocates for incorporating non-sexual touch into daily life. Regular gestures of affection, such as cuddling or hand-holding, can build intimacy outside the bedroom. “Sending a flirty text during the day or giving your partner a compliment can help keep the spark alive,” she explains.
Marin also highlights the physiological benefits of connection. Research indicates that physical touch can trigger the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the love hormone. This release can heighten feelings of closeness and satisfaction in the relationship.
The importance of non-sexual touch cannot be overstated, especially as parents navigate their busy lives. Marin believes that when partners learn to enjoy touch without the immediate pressure of sex, it fosters a more comfortable environment for both parties.
In conclusion, Marin’s insights offer valuable guidance for parents struggling with intimacy. By prioritizing initiation, maintaining open communication, and embracing non-sexual touch, couples might find that their relationship flourishes even amidst the chaos of parenthood. The goal is to transform the experience of collapsing into bed after a long day from another chore into a moment of connection and relief.
